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Thursday, October 23, 2008

Get rich or die trying

Financial freedom is bliss. Having to buy whatever without even bothering to check the price tag is the right way to splurge.

The perks of being rich and wealthy. How hard is it for a girl to be rich anyway? Let me count the ways.


1. Marry a rich and dirty old man and have a fairy tale wedding
  • THE WORKS
    • Be seen in the right parties and wear something elegantly skanky.
    • Pretend you're a model or an aspiring actress.
    • Dumb yourself down. No man can resist someone dumb enough to cater to their every whim.
    • Of course it helps if you're young and pretty.
    • Choose senior citizens from ages 60 years old and above with a multi-billion dollar estate.
    • If you're gonna spend his money anyway, spend it with style.
    • Make sure he makes you the sole heiress to his estate before he dies.
    • wait till he bites the dust
  • THE PERKS
    • Getting rich has never been this easy if you're young and pretty.
    • Your own fairy tale wedding... What woman wouldn't want that? Who cares if he's no prince charming?
    • You have access to all the coolest parties, your own villa, yoga instructor, shopping assistant, own chauffeur, your own choice of rides
    • The possibility of you becoming even richer if he dies and leaves the entire estate under your name.
  • THE SET BACK
    • If he leaves you (before he kicks the bucket) for someone younger, prettier and dumber, you're left with nothing but a heartache(?) and an empty bank account.
    • Unless your idea of sexy is gray hair, slow movement, bad gas, saggy, wrinkly skin and erectile dysfunction, then, best of luck to you...
    • Call me a romantic but I've always believed in marrying for love.
2. Become a celebrity

  • THE WORKS
    • Date a rock star, actor, director, etc.
    • Make a buzz by making a sex video with your celeb hubby and post it online.
    • While you're making headlines, create a reality show or make a cameo appearance in a movie.
    • Start a fad. make a following. Then create your own line of clothes and scent.
  • THE PERKS
    • You get the chance to party with the hottest celebs
    • Fame makes it easy for you to get a million bucks for just smiling and looking pretty.
    • you don't get to follow trends. You set it.
    • The freebies!
  • THE SETBACK
    • Of course, not everybody is star potential.
    • Beauty fades. Fade dies down eventually. If you get too cocky, chances are, you'll end up becoming a broke "has been" or worse, a "never was".

3. Win the Lottery

  • THE WORKS
    • Place your bet on the same number combination every week.
    • Keep your fingers crossed.
  • THE PERKS
    • You winning the billion dollar jackpot in the lottery. What else could be sweeter than that?
  • THE SETBACK
    • Not everybody's born lucky.

4. THE LONG SHOT

  • THE WORKS
    • Open your textbooks and study for Petesake. You'll be surprised at how much it will pay off someday.
    • Save. My dad always tells me it's never too early to save. Heck, had I started saving when I was 8, I'd have half a million pesos in my bank account already...
    • Go to college and make it worth every penny your mom and dad spent on.
    • Don't just be IN the rat race. LEAD it! Learn the works to climbing the corporate ladder. Learn to suck up the right way.
    • INVEST... Start a business. Buy properties
    • Bust your ass. work hard.
    • Unless money grows on trees, Getting rich doesn't happen overnight. Patience is always a virtue.
  • THE PERKS
    • It's clean and foolproof.
    • In the end, money earned the hard way is always the best cash to spend. You know how it feels to buy yourself a new car with your hard earned cash?
    • Financial freedom and independence. You're spending your own money. What could be better?
  • THE SETBACK
    • Requires a great deal of sacrifice on your part.

Bottom line is, there's no easy way to get rich, regardless of gender, race or age. Fame, success, power and wealth requires a lot of hard work and a little bit of luck.

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