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Saturday, September 20, 2008

As told by a friend of a friend...

I have been a sucker for urban legends since the 1998 horror/suspense movie aptly named Urban legend came out. Urban legends, according to wikipedia.org, is a form of modern folklore consisting of stories thought to be factual by those circulating them. The term is often used to mean something akin to an "apocryphal story." Like all folklore, urban legends are not necessarily false, but they are often distorted, exaggerated, or sensationalized over time..... So, how do you know it's an urban legend? You know how it goes... "I heard this from a friend of a friend of a friend..." and the list goes on...

IF most, if not all urban legends are unsubstantiated, why do we love hearing and retelling these tall tales? Simple. Who would want to miss out on the news about Britney's latest blunders right? Not that I've heard of anything recently. And not that I care... But it all boils down to this... As much as we fear the unknown and the horrifying, we are very much drawn to it. Why do you think do we love horror movies? And no one would resist a good laugh either. Same goes with urban legends... An urban legend has 5 elements that appeal to people : horror, mystery, fear, humor, a dash of celebrity and a pinch of the absurd, often presented as cautionary tales or widely dispersed misinformation. You know how much we love to know celebrities right?

Here is an archive of urban legends I have collected from the net and stories told by a friend of a friend of a friend.

CELEBRITY URBAN LEGENDS

this was originally done by Misterhubs:

1. Snake Charmer

First heard: Late '80s.
The lowdown: Robina Gokongwei has a twin, a giant serpent, whose secret lair is located beneath Robinson's Galleria. When it's time to feed the snake, a trapdoor opens in one of the Galleria's fitting rooms, sending one unlucky shopper down through a maze of pipes and into the snake-pit. One day, Alice Dixon was in the wrong fitting room at the wrong time. Lucky for her, the serpent fell in love with her and decided to let her go.
Truth factor: As likely as Alice resurrecting her career.

2. Lightbulb Moment

First heard: Late '80s.
The lowdown: Richard Gomez is Jaime Zobel de Ayala's paid lover. In the course of one intercourse, Zobel shoved a light-bulb up Goma's rectum because he's that kinky. Unfortunately, the glass broke and poor Goma had to be rushed to the emergency room.
Truth factor: C'mon. Zobel, with all his riches, can afford to buy a titanium dildo. You actually think he'd use some cheap store-bought bulb?

3. The Elevator Incident

First heard: Early-to-mid '00s.
The lowdown: Ting. Elevator door opens. In walks Gretchen Baretto, also known to her family as Satan, and her entourage of yayas and bodyguards. Another woman enters the elevator right after her. Deeming the woman unfit to be sharing the same space as her (and her Bulgari jewels), La Gretta proclaimed, "please tell this woman to get off my elevator", to which the woman retorted, "please tell this woman to get off my building." It turns out that the woman is Mrs. Yuchencho, a member of the clan who owns RCBC plaza. Exit la Gretta.
Truth factor: Smoke, fire, you know the cliche. Plus, she doesn't really hide the fact that she's an uber-bitch.

4. Miss Hooker World

First heard: Mid '90s.
The lowdown: Ruffa Gutierrez may have lost the prized Miss World crown in 1993, but her exposure in that pageant helped turn her into a globe-trotting, world-class prostitute. With her mom as pimp, Ruffa snagged high-paying clients and eventually, settled down with Turkish mobster, Ylmaz Bektas.
Truth factor: Your guess is as good as mine.

5. Pinay Winona Ryder

First heard: Mid '00s.
The lowdown: Pretty, fair and demure Lucy Torres is a shoplifting freak. Her thievery has escalated to the point that she can't shop without being followed by an assistant who pays for every item she's lifted. A security camera at Rustan's captured Lucy doing the Winona hand-trick and the footage found its way to the desk of Karen Davila. The Kapamilya station agreed not to air the video in exchange for unknown favors from Goma.
Truth factor: There's something quite off with Lucy. Maybe this is it?

6. Death in Dos Palmas

First heard: 2002
The lowdown: On March 29, 2002, at the Dos Palmas resort in Palawan, bedimpled matinee idol Rico Yan, now Saint Rico, died due to "cardiac arrest following a rupture of the pancreas." Those in the know, however, claim that Rico overdosed with a cocktail of illegal drugs and that on the night of his death, Rico banged a hooker who was delivered and paid for by his dear friends, Dominic Ochoa and Jana Victoria.
Truth factor: Isn't it a little strange they didn't release his autopsy report?

7. Monstrosity of Kris Aquino

First heard: some email I recieved and a website
I read it from...

Kris A apparently lashed out on a young fan's aunt for aiming the camera at the wrong angle. true? Who knows but it's certainly not impossible...

8. Vic Sotto, Joey de Leon, and Richie d Horsie's involvement in Pepsi Paloma's suicide

First head: Some forum (I forgot the website) about 80's sex icons. I was just a baby when Pepsi Paloma was at the peak of her success.

Rumor has it hat Vic Sotto, Joey de Leon and Richie d Horsie were accused of raping an underaged, rising bold starlet Pepsi Paloma in the 80's. If my facts were correct, Joey de Leon made a public apology and there was a settlement of some sorts with Tito Sotto paying Pepsi Paloma's lawyer to drop the case. It was also said that the trio were influential, having strong ties with Marcos during his reign. They also threatened Pepsi that they'll have her family killed if she went on with the case. If we put 2 and 2 together, the probable reason why she killed herself was how the trio used their influence and connections to get away with their misdeed.

9. Jose Rizal fathered 2 of the most dangerous men in history and was Jack the Ripper

first read in this website.

Various coincidences lead to a disturbing conlcusion that Jose Rizal was the father of Adolf Hitler and Mao Zedong. It was also believed that he was the alterego of Jack the Ripper.

10. Liz Claiborne, Tommy Hilfiger were racists.

Rumor has it that they appeared in some talk show (presumably Oprah) and mused that they would never let Filipinos and other minorities buy their clothes.

11. Singer Mariah Carey is also a racist.

Though this was proven untrue, such rumors still exist. Sources said she called "Asia's Song bird" Pinoy pride Regine Velazquez a "brown monkey who can sing" and coldly told the Filipinos in her concert to get out. Now, why on earth would a singer with a biracial heritage say something utterly racist?

i got this from this site. PULA

on the lighter side;

LAWSUIT HAPPY
Lets face it. Some people would rather justify their stupidity with a lawsuit. Here are just some evidences on how being a lawyer could be so lucrative. As told by a friend of a friend of a friend...

1. How a burglar got away with a thousand dollar lawsuit.


Legend has it that some burglar sued the guy who owned the house he robbed because he injured himself jumping off the second floor balcony. It just shows that even burglars have rights too. I recently came across another article in the net about a similar incident. A burglar sues a doctor for injuries he got when the said physician shot him. details here.

2. Another lawsuit happy moron was the reason behind the Caution: Hot warning on Mcdonalds coffee cup plastic lids.

The moron sued Mcdonalds for injuries he incurred when he gulped in a cup of steaming hot coffee Mcdonalds. He blistered his lips because apparently he was not aware the the coffee was "too hot". The last time I checked, unless you're ordering Frappaccinos or any iced coffee blends, coffee is supposed to be hot. The worst part is, the nitwit apparently won and took home a fat lawsuit. Boy, these lawyers sure do get alot for handling nitwits like them. And recently, while I'm scouring for other urban legends, I stumbled upon another nitwit with a similar case. This guy sues Macys because the shirt he bought was "unsafe as manufactured". This moron burned himself when he lowered himself to light a ciggy at a the stove getting himself close enough to let his shirt catch fire. see details in this link.

FOOD

I'd rather you eat first before you read this part.

1. McDonalds and Jollibee were accused that their burgers were made of earthworm. mmmmmmmmmmmmm.... This has been around for as long as I can remember. But time and again, both companies denied this, saying pound for pound, earthworms still cost more than Australian Beef.

2. Kentucky fried Chicken changed their name to KFC because their fried "chicken" are actually from genetically engineered animals with no feathers and beaks. Another variation was a that their from genetically engineered chickens with four feet. Bucket meal anyone? A cousin from Down Under actually had a bad experience in KFC when she bit on a drumstick. Pus flowed out from a little "blister" on the fried chicken leg. Could be mayonnaise... but who knows?

3. Some needle happy punks inject HIV positive blood on Ketchup Dispensers in fastfoods. I remembered my dad forwarding this to me back when I was in college. Since then, I preffered to have ketchup in little packets like those in Macdonalds and Pizza Hut.

4. Another rumor about Mcdonalds and apparently Proctor and Gamble was that they donate a hefty portion of their profit to the Church of Satan. It is supported by this email that then PG pres appeared in some show and expressed his support to Satan and his minions.

5. That some siopaos were made out of cat meat... mmmmmmmmmmm... yummy....

6. A funny incident involving a 2 dollar bill got an almost disgruntled customer a free upsized burito meal in Taco Bell. The employees thought he was trying to fool them by paying a burito meal with a 2 dollar bill which they thought did not exist until a cop told them otherwise. Embarassed, the manager gave him a free upsized burito meal as well as a heart felt apology for the inconvenience caused by their ignorance.. the details here.

7. Pop Cola price drop was due to a little mishap in the factory. Some years ago, Pop Cola's price plunged to as low as P4 per bottle. Rumor has it that their colas contained glass splinters when its factory had a little malfunction and broke one bottle. Its fragments were then accidentally mixed with the cola. Another variation involved another company (Pepsi or Coke I think) when some girl from UK fainted after finding a decapitated mouse in her bottle of softdrinks.

8. Some moronic robbers accidentally robbed a sperm bank. thinking that the little white thingies they found in the freezer were vanilla pudding, they chowed on it... I think you get the picture... mmmmmmmm... white sperm pudding anyone?


SHOPPING GALORE

1. UKAY UKAY horror

You know why they always tell you to wash your finds in warm water before you wear it? I wouldn't even recommend shopping for undies in flea markets either...

(well... hope you had your dinner already... it's got pictures... almost threw up when i saw the pics myself...)

got this from this website

http://urbanlegends.about.com/library/bl_breast_larvae.htm

Fwd: Wash before Wearing!

It is horrible. Guys tell your wife, sisters, girlfriends, and girl cousins wash bra before wearing.

ALL PLEASE WASH ALL BRAS, UNDERWEAR WHEN YOU BUY BEFORE WEARING THEM. WE DO NOT KNOW WHAT PARASITE IS IN OUR CLOTHES WHEN WE BUY THEM. FORWARD TO EVERYBODY YOU KNOW. LET ME FORE WARN YOU THIS IS SO SQUIMISH, I FEEL LIKE SOMETHING IS CRAWLING ALL OVER ME EVEN AS I SEND THIS TO YOU. BE AWARE. IT IS SO GROTESQUE. PLEASE WASH YOUR UNDERWEAR BEFORE WEARING. PREFERABLY IN BOILING HOT WATER.

This is not for the weak; I have never seen anything like this. Read the article first before looking at the picture and film. This looks horrible. Oh my God!!!!!!! Ladies this could happen to you and Guys this could happen to your wife, girlfriend, partner so please BEWARE,and also warn others.

It has been reported that this is happening in Zimbabwe as well, please make sure you iron your undergarments before you wear them and make sure that your clothes are ironed when they are dry and not damp. The picture is horrible but I felt that I should share with you. After anthropologist Susan McKinley came back home from an expedition in South America, she noticed a very strange rash on her left breast. Nobody knew what it was and she quickly dismissed it believing that the holes would leave in time. Upon her return she decided to see a doctor after she started developing intense pains. The doctor, not knowing the exact severity of the disease, gave her antibiotics and special creams. As time lapsed the pain did not subside and her left breast became more inflamed and started to bleed.

She decided to bandage her sores however as Susan's pain grew more intense she decided to seek help from a more certified doctor. Dr. Lynch could not diagnose the infection and told Susan to seek the aid of one of his colleagues who specialized in dermatology whom was sadly on vacation. She waited for two weeks and finally was able to react the dermatologist.

Sadly,a life changing event was about to unfold during her appointment.

To Miss McKinley's surprise, after she removed the bandages, they found larva growing and squirming within the pores and sores of her breast. Sometimes these wicked creatures would all together simultaneously move around into different crevices.

What she didn't know was that the holes were in fact, deeper than she had originally thought for these larvae were feeding off the fat, tissue, and even milk canals of her bosom.

copy the url above to see the pics... can't post em here... it's too gross...

so far... this is all I have collected... I'm sure you'll find more interesting urban legends in these websites...

www.snopes.com
http://urbanlegends.about.com/
Philippine Urban Legend Archive


or...

just google it... :)

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