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Wednesday, August 27, 2008

stranger than fiction

Misadventures of Freshman Boy

retrogressing 5 years and 10 pounds ago...

She was browsing on her notes while waiting for her then BF's class to finish. She was on the 3rd floor lounge area overlooking her magnificent college campus. A guy pops out from nowhere and sits beside her on her table as his posse of Freshmen boys looks on inquisitively. A menacing "This I gotta see" smirk is painted on their young and very Totoy faces.

Freshman boy: "Uy! Kumusta ka na?" (With matching FC tapik tapik on my shoulder)
Her: "Uh... okay lang..." (With a very perplexed look on her face with matching taas kilay.)

Freshman boy beams with a combination of foolish confidence, a dash of kaba and God knows what else is going on inside his Totoy head.

Freshman boy: "So... kumusta? sobrang tagal na kitang hindi nakita ah..."
Her: (Stunned and confused) "Uh, I don't mean to be rude or anything but, do I know you? Have we met?"

(awkward silence)

Freshman boy bursts out in a goofy, nervous chuckle.

Freshman boy: "Uh, actually...hehehe..."
Her: (wide eyed and perplexed, still waiting for a coherent response)
Freshman boy: "Uh... no... I'm greg..."

Her: "Hi greg..." (looked down on her notes... pretending to look busy.)

Freshman boy: "And you are?"
Her : (rolls eyes) "Not interested..."

Freshman boy: "Ganda ng name mo... 'not interested'...?" Grabs her ID and checks for her name. Ang kapaaaal....

Her: "Excuse me... hehehe... does personal space mean anything to you?"

Freshman boy: "Sorry ha... eh ayaw mo kasing sabihin ang totoong name mo eh... So, andrea... what brings you here sa floor namin."

Her: "Boyfriend ko... Inaantay ko..." translation= LEAVE ME ALONE!

Freshman boy:"Boyfriend huh... ano bang klaseng lalaki yan at pinapaantay ang babae ng mag isa..." (too thick to get the hint...)

Bell rings right on time. Door bursts open and her boyfriend and his posse of Marisian((term referring to those who graduated from Stella Maris Academy) cuties come out.

Her : (YES!!)

Freshman boy: (Leaning forward boldy, with all his macho totoyness...) "San na ba ung magaling mong boyfriend? Nako... pag ako naging boyfriend mo... tiyak, hinding hindi kita papaantaying mag isa... eh lapitan ka pa lang ng ibang lalaki... Mahina ang boyfriend mo... di marunong mag alaga..."


her: "Uhuh... why don't you tell him yourself?" (smiling menacingly as she waved at her boyfriend to come closer.)

Freshman boy turns his head around slowly.(with matching "Psycho" theme song). Heart pounding. Sweat trickling down his forehead and palms. He swallows a huge lump in his throat as he turns his head around slowly. Finally, he sees him. A 5 ft. 8 in. giant with hands ready to beat him to the pulp. Freshman boy turns wide eyed and ashen pale with fear, unable to move.

Boyfriend: "Uy bay..." (sup bro?)

Freshman boy squeals like a girl and grabs his books and scampers as fast as he can to the nearest exit.

Her: "Greg! Panyo mo!" He was already 3 miles away (in a span of 10 seconds).

Boyfriend: "Naunsa to?" (What's up with him?)

Her: "Ambot. Tara, gigutom nako..." (Beats me. Let's go... I'm starving...)


THE END

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