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Tuesday, April 1, 2008

A night in a call center...

Curious about what goes on in a call center?

a typical (worst case) scenario in my job as an agent...
Agent: "Thank you for calling _______. This is Andy. Are you placing a credit card order today?"
Racist American customer:"What?!"
Agent:"Is this a credit card order today?"
Customer:"You know what lady, I can't understand what the hell you're saying in there..."
Agent:(A bit agitated by now)"IS--THIS---A--CRE-DIT--CARD--OR-DER--TO-DAY?!"
Customer:"Of course... that's why I'm calling..."
Agent:(banging the keys)"THAT'S... GREAT! ARE YOU ORDERING FROM A CATALOG OR THE MAILINGS?!" (bingi ka ba?)
customer:"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"
Agent:"Let me repeat again Ma'am, ARE YOU OR-DERING--FROM A CA-TA-LOG OR THE MAIIIILINGS?"(obviously irritated but still smiling...)
customer:"You know what, I am 80 years old and I have difficulty understanding you..."
Agent:(ah.... tanda na rin kasi.... pero kulit mo ah...)"IS THIS FROM THE LITTLE FLYERS OR FROM THE CATALOG?!!!"
customer:"from the little thingies that come in the mail... what's your name again? is that Angie?"
Agent:"That's ANDY. A like adam, N like Nancy, D like david and Y like yankee..."(Good luck to my AHT... the greeting alone took 2 minutes....but still, Im smiling...)
customer:"okay..."
Agent:"May i have your LAST NAME?"
customer:"that's Rataj"
Agent:"Your ZIP CODE please?"
customer:"you want my credit card number?"
Agent:(wa bay hearing aid sa inyong lugar? I recommend dyud la...)"ZIIIP COODE... your 5 digit POOOOSTAL COOOODE."
customer:"I KNOW WHAT A GODDAMN ZIP CODE IS... it's ________"
Agent:"your FIRST NAME PLEASE?"
customer:"VICTORIA"
Agent:"IS VICTORIA RATAJ THE NAME ON YOUR CREEEDIT CARD?!" (now typing furiously on the keyboard... nose and ears already fuming in rage...)
customer:"YOU WANT MY CREDIT CARD NUMBER NOW?!"
Agent:"NO... IM ASKING IF IT'S VICTOOORIA RATAJ THE NAME ON YOUR (freakin) CARD?!" (hearing aid lagi lola.... barato lang man na sa inyo.... maski libre pa.... ilabay nalang pud imong telepono be kung ing-ana ra pud ka kabungol... litsi...)
customer:(5 second silence) "You know what lady, I am having difficulty understanding you... I'm 80 years old and you're talking too fast..." (ay ada... ingna lang gud bungol ka....)
Agent:"IM AAAASKING....IF IT'S VICTOOOOORIA RAAATAJ THE NAME THAT APPEARS ON YOUR CREEEDIT CARD..."(how hard would that be to understand... even my grandma can answer that...and she's 85... 85!!!!)
customer:"YES... YES!!!Christ!"
Agent verifies billing and shipping address... telephone number and asks for e-mail... obviously, she doesn't even know what E-mail is... And she's freakin American....
after 4 gruelling minutes of painstakingly verifying and repeating everything...
Agent:"May I have the first ITEM NUMBER... IT'S INSIDE THE YELLOW BOX WITH A SMILEY FACE..."
Customer:"LADY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT... I CAN'T SEE THE YELLOW SMILEY FACE ANYWHERE IN THIS PIECE OF PAPER?!"
Agent:(Litse... unya pila na ka katuig og order diari, wa gihapon ka kabalo kung unsa na?! punyeta...)"CHECK AT THE BAAACK OF THE FLYYYYER... JUST ABOOOVE THE COLOR CHOICES..."
Customer:"But I can't see... oh, there it is.... it's ______________"
Agent:(tan-awa ra gud na....)"Okay, that's for the Calcutta Crop Pants... In what size would you like?"
Customer:"What did you say? I'm sorry... I COULD NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE SAYING LADY... CAN YOU HAVE SOMEONE ELSE ON THE LINE?!"Agent:(Already in the verge of throwing away the headset and the computer out of extreme agitation...)"I do apologize Mrs Rataj, but everyone else is also attending to another customer... PLEASE BEAR WITH ME WHILE I TAKE YOUR ORDER... I DO APOLOGIZE FOR THE INCONVENIENCE.... LET ME ADJUST MY VOLUME...(As if it's not loud enough already....) can you hear me now?"
Customer:"i CAN HEAR YOU BUT I REALLY CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE SAYING?!"(Why the hell are we having this conversation then grandma?)"WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU LOCATED?!"
Agent:"I am speaking to you from a call center in the Philippines and i work for ____________"
Customer:"DID YOU SAY THE PHILIPPINES?!" (Wow! at for the first time, naintindihan niya ang sinabi ko....) "IT'S NO WONDER WHY I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU... I'M 80 YEARS OLD LADY AND IM AN AMERICAN..."(like duh grandma... like so are the rest of my customers...) WHY THE HELL IS A FILIPINO TAKING MY ORDER?! YOU KNOW WHAT CANCEL MY ORDER... I'LL CALL SOME OTHER TIME... I DON'T WANT A FILIPINO TAKING MY ORDER...."
Agent:(already out of her wits infuriated but still manage to keep her cool despite the remark)"Mrs. Rataj. I could not assure you that the next person who will take your call may not be a Filipino or any Asian for that matter. I will do my best to process your order the best way I can... I do apologize for the inconvenience..."
Customer:(Already irate as well)"CALL ON YOUR SUPERVISOR... I NEED TO SPEAK TO YOUR SUPERVISOR... WHY THE HELL IS THIS HAPPENING?!"
Agent:(beet red in fury but still manage to sound calm)"I MAY CALL ON MY SUPERVISOR BUT I CAN ASSURE YOU THAT SHE'S ALSO FILIPINO.."
Customer:"JESUS CHRIST ALMIGHTY!!!! cancel my order... PLEASE!!! Cancel Everything!!!!"
Agent:(agitated but very eager to cancel her order... hay salamat... unsay labot namo kung mu-cancel ka.... daghaaaaan pa mig customer lola....dili lang ikaw.... manigas ka!!!!)"No problem, I do apologize for the inconvenience but if you do give me a chance to process your order-"
Customer:"You know what lady, your apology is not enough... We'll never understand each other... I'm an American..." (WHO CARES?! I have spoken to alot of Americans and they never had a problem with me... suffice to say, you're just a freakin, dumb-ass racist.... FYI, ____________________doesn't care if you're not gonna place another order here.... WE HAVE ALOT OF BETTER CUSTOMERS THAN YOU GRANDMA!!!! And FYI, what makes you think that you Americans are alot better than any of us?! Mind you, we speak more languages than you can ever speak in your whole life!!!! My vocabulary might even be broader than yours and English is not even my first language.... beat that!!!! grandma....)
Agent:"I do apologize again... I do hope there is anything else i can do..."
Customer:"There's nothing you can do.... Goodbye!!!!"
Agent:(GOOD FREAKIN RIDDANCE!!!! RACIST!)
===============SCENARIO # 2=======================
Just a proof that not all Americans are as bright as we think....
Agent:"Oh I do apologize Mrs. Smith, but Grey is out of Stock... would you like another color?"Customer:"Oh my.... What else do you have in stock?"
Agent:"We have here Green, Blue and Silver."
Customer:"Silver honey?"
Agent:"Yes Mrs. Smith, silver..."
Customer:"What color is silver?" (to think, she's not even blind...)
Hay nako.... buhay call center... I wonder if the English are also like that... I HOPE NOT!!
===============SCENARIO 3=======================
An experience of a colleague's ex trainer in his call center agent days....
Agent:"Sir, I do suggest that you click the start button on your desktop, then Run" (Common sense, of course yung prompt na run... )
Customer:"Run? run where?"
AGent:"There in the computer...."
Customer:"RUN IN THE COMPUTER?! ARE YOU NUTS? HOW'S THAT GONNA HAPPEN?!"(at ang agent pa ngayon ang gago.... hay nako...)

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

ngeekk... NO OFFENSE AH... pero i think mali ung pgkasbi nung friend mung agent din...

kase, dba,dpt gni2 yon.. (THEN LOOK FOR THE WORD RUN AND THEN CLICK ON IT)

^_^

~~~KM~~~

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