Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Jeepney 101

what to do...

when you realize you left your wallet home and you're halfway to your destination in a jeepney. Such circumstances are inevitable and the worst part is, there's no turning back. So here are some tried and tested tips from the former 123 queen, yours truly.
1. walk out of the vehicle "absentmindedly"... pretend you're vehemently preoccupied with a very big dilemma that you "forgot" to pay the fare... or you just woke up after falling asleep waiting for the traffic to move....
(50% effective. never attempt when there's a konduktor)
2. sit at the very end of the jeep (right at the back of the driver). reach out for other people's fare and keep it in your hand until you're ready to exit the vehicle. (35%. a very old school trick i learned from my "kuyas" in college. and it's almost like stealing, so it's never recommended... never attempt when a "konduktor" is around)
3. umupo sa front seat. kaibiganin ang driver. charm your way to a free ride. kusang luob ka niyang pababain ng walang bayad. (25% effective. almost never works. only works when you're a charming coed college chic with PR skills. if you're a guy, forget it.)
4. the "meron-kang-kambyo-sa-1000" strategy. when you're close to your destination, ask either the konduktor or the driver if they have change for a very big bill, preferably 1000. chances are, pabababain ka ng walang bayad dahil wala din silang maisukli sa 1000. (65% effective, albeit really risky. eh pano kung me kambyo sila sa P1000? diba?)
5. if you happen to have some coins that won't reach 1 peso (ung tipong tig fa 5 cents or 10 cents) kunwaring nahulog sa kamay mo. of course, magiging busy na ang konduktor sa kakapulot at kakabilang ng barya so, exit ka na. (60% effective. requires speed. and maganda ito kung me konduktor.)
6. if all else fails, flee from the scene of the crime. hehehe (1-2-3 is still the best)

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