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Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Happily Ever After: The Cinderella Complex

I'll admit it... The "Happily Ever After" Utopia never dies. Even after 3 ghastly relationships that ended up in a rather tragic note, still, the thrill of old school chivalry hasn't rubbed itself off me after all these years. Whether we admit it or not, we women will always have that innate desire to be swept off our feet, carried off into the castle far, far away and live happily ever after, or so we thought. Sure, you can go on blare out your neo feminist ideas on how women don't need men to survive a dog-eat-dog world as much as you please. But then, boys will be boys... and Us women... will always be (sigh) women.

After all, hate em or love em, we grew up knowing Cinderella, Snow White and these God forsaken Disney fairy tales by heart.

But don't get me wrong. I do not imply that women are nothing but the perpetual damsels in distress in need of rescue. Confusing and contradictory as I may sound right now, I am against the whole "Maria Clara" ideal of women being the delicate, prudent, eye candy who, by any standard must blindly obey what society dictates upon her. We women have gone a long way from the medieval or the prim and proper victorian ways. We have women presidents ruling the country. We have women serving in the military or in the navy who, by far, has done better than their male counterparts. And the list goes on. After all, this is the 21st century and the "Maria Clara" has long been dead and buried along with our national hero. And so has the old school knight in shining armor ideal and his damsel in distress.

So what's my stand in all this?

Simple. We all want to be happy. Men. Women. Most especially women. Though we might not admit it, for the fear of being called weak, conformist and "carbon dated", we need our men as our men need us. Now, this goes beyond the whole "happily ever after" ideal. There's nothing wrong with becoming Mrs. Someone someday. You can't expect it's all happily ever after all the way. We are aware of various horrors and joys of marital bliss and I have accepted that. It is the idea of being loved not because of but, despite of. Ever seen an old couple on a bench by the park, holding hands while watching the sun set? I guess you got my point already.

Secondly, fulfilling your happily ever after doesn't mean complete abandonment of your own identity and independence. Sure, it would be a fun and romantic idea to be swept off your feet, onto his noble steed and ride into the sunset. But hey, there's no reason not to get your own horse and race him to whereever their hooves take you. There is no need to step down from you career or obligation just to make your man happy. Why leave the things you have loved and learned to live with for a man? Because he said so? HORSESHIT! There's nothing wrong with being a housewife, if you think that's your calling. But then, transforming yourself from a totally independent woman to a submissive, docile wife and source of moral support for your husband is another story. Take Regine Velasquez and Kris Aquino for instance. Both established women in showbiz, ready to leave behind all that showbiz glitz and glamour for the men they love. That, my friend is total defeat. Shame on you. Why give that all up for someone who's not even guaranteed to stay long enough to see your forehead wrinkly and your tits sagging?

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